Sixteen Candles & Valentine

Some horror movie villains don’t wear masks, they masquerade as high school heartthrobs in John Hughes movies. This week, we’re talking 80s coming-of-age “classic” SIXTEEN CANDLES alongside the 90s teen slasher VALENTINE.

We’re asking the important questions like – which one is the horror movie? How in the world did Roger Ebert find Sixteen Candles to be “a cheerful movie with a goofy sense of humor… [that] doesn’t hate its characters”? And did Valentine reallllllllllly deserve that 11% on Rotten Tomatoes?

From a cherub-faced killer out for revenge on the women who rejected him IN THE 6TH GRADE to the sociopath origin story no one asked for – Jake Ryan: American Psycho – both movies feature male characters who just can’t seem to grasp this concept: That girl who wasn’t interested at the school dance doesn’t owe you anything. Especially not a pair of her underwear, or you know, her life. The lesson this week: Women. Don’t. Owe. You. ANYTHING. Louder for the people in the back.

Episode Notes:

Roger Ebert’s 1984 review of Sixteen Candles

Molly Ringwald’s 2018 essay for The New Yorker

Valentine’s 11% on Rotten Tomatoes

Theme song: Written by Tara Clune, Amanda Festa and Ryan Hirsh; Performed by Brooke Parker and Ryan Hirsh.